Do view the attached short film. It is an example of one of the innumerable stumbling blocks we face in our day to day living. I wouldn’t like to say more, but after you have viewed the snippet, I invite you to share what you felt on seeing the attachment. Does it change anything for you?…how does responding to a situation make us more effective than reacting to it? Hope to hear from you soon!
Enjoy 
The Economic Times of India published an article throwing light on the growing need and importance of COACHING to corporate India. Here is the link…and I hope my friends in the corporate world do take a few minutes to read this interesting article.
Here it is!… so I finally have my ICF certification. Thanks to all my trainers, peers, coachees and well-wishers….without any of them, this journey would not be possible.
Do you remember the origin of the wheel?…it was created round so that there is minimum friction and smooth movement forward. Can a square, hexagonal or octagonal wheel give the same smoothness and frictionless movement as a round one? (I trust your response !)
So how round is your wheel of life? How wholesome, balanced and fulfilled are you in all the aspects (spokes) of your life? Would you like to assess what your wheel of life looks like today?…an assessment of our today takes us to a better tomorrow, isn’t it?….
Wishing you a life of fulfillment,
Cheers!
Every coaching process is unique to the coach and also distinct with respect to every client. Consequently, each one of us (coaches) develop tools unique to our style. While I would have many tools in my coaching kit, my power tool, which I would like share today is,
‘INTUITION v/s INTELLECT’
Meaning and significance
Intellect is mind and mind is knowledge. Mind is a mechanism for recording experiences from the outside and then reacting/responding to situations accordingly. Intellect is therefore acquired and not original or unique to a person. However, intellect is of great significance. Working as a scientist, intellect is needed. Working in the corporate world, intellect is needed. Intellect is the beginning. Without a well-developed mind, little success is possible. Great scientists who work thro’ reason, sometimes come to a point where reason does not work, where they wait for a hunch, for some intuitive flash, for a light from the unknown. When we have worked hard with the intellect and success is not becoming, we got to become aware of something beyond. It is our inner self – beyond logic – something that our mind does not ‘know’, yet it is ours as it has come from within our innermost center and therefore is nobody else’s. It is beyond logic. Such intuitive moments where logic, knowledge, rationale fails, can become moments of the greatest blessings.
All great intellectuals have become aware that great discoveries are made not by reason, but by intuition. Let’s take the example of Madame Curie. She was working for three years upon a certain problem and was trying to solve it from many directions. One night, utterly exhausted, she went to sleep and decided, “ Enough is enough! I have wasted three years and it seems to be a futile search. I have to drop it! “ That night, she woke-up in her sleep, went to her desk and wrote the answer. She then fell back to sleep. In the morning, she did not remember the events of the night and wondered how the answer was written! There was nobody else there in the room all night and the answer lay in front, that too in her own handwriting. Then as if like a dream, the events flashed. It meant that she had reached the conclusion through another door, which was not reason. It was INTUITION.Intellect, as I said earlier, is the mind. It is taught, it is acquired, it is the knowable. Since it is not inborn it is not unique to us. It is not the real us.Intuition functions when reason, knowledge has been exhausted. Intuition is beyond logic. Intuition is the unknowable. It is our deepest self. It is unique to everyone of us and is at the deepest level of our consciousness.Literally, the term ‘intuition’ means= ‘in’ + ’tuition’. ‘Tuition’ comes from the word ‘tutor’ or ‘to teach’. Thus, intuition is self-teaching.
Importance of intuition v/s intellect in Coaching
In my definition, Coaching is… partnering with people in an empowering and thought-provoking process to enthuse them (people) towards maximum personal and professional potential.
‘Empty mind is a devil’s workshop’- is a famous quote.But I say, ‘Mind is the devil’s workshop!’ Can the mind ever be empty? If we are to make a movie of the thoughts that come to our mind in a minute, the movie would be nothing but disconnected chaotic gibberish!!Yes, what the famous quote could mean is that sitting idle is devilish as it makes the mind move on the double!Activity distracts the mind, but doesn’t quieten. The purpose of the mind is to create problems, troubles. It can complicate anything, but cannot give solutions.It is only in tremendous silence and deep serenity can one become aware of his/her true self.That is why in coaching ‘Active Listening’ is given paramount importance.In my understanding, ‘Active Listening’ is quietening the mind and connecting to the client in its entirety. It means to be here in the now without any thought, alert and aware, to listen in deep receptivity. This needs a still mind, without judgments, without opinions.
Our self (coach) connects to the clients self, feelings, understanding, empathizing with all that is verbal and non-verbal. It is this, the intuition, the deep consciousness that is to be awakened to the client’s presence. As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. put it ‘Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.’ The first step here is our intuition. Take the first plunge in full trust of our deep self. It is our intuition that gives the first ray of direction. The journey that follows is the questioning which is formed by the intellect. Successful coaching takes place through powerful questioning.
As a coach the first step is to be aware of our intuition then through the intellect we can connect to the client’s deep self and help, facilitate, empower him to realize his true potential. Thus, intuition gives the direction and intellect is the journey. No journey can happen if we don’t know the direction to take.
From the client’s point of view, all that fills his mind should be spilled out. When the mind center is empty, then will the client open his deeper being. It is when his intuition is appealed to, when something within him ‘clicks’, then he will be propelled to action and to realize his dreams.
In conclusion, I believe, intellect is indispensable. But all intellect can lead the coaching process to a dead end. Meaningful transformation comes from the deepest level. It is only through the intuition of a coach that transformational changes take place bringing awareness to the client of his true potential. Finally, the client’s awareness of his true self and his actions to realize his true potential, make coaching a meaningful process.
How to develop INTUITION
Since intuition is simply ‘awareness to an inner belief system’, deep silences give you the opportunity to look inwards, understand and be in-touch with your intuitive self. What would further help is to be cleansed of all that prevents our energy from flowing freely between our chakras. Experts believe, so long as you can attain the peace and silence needed to hear your inner voice, you can be intuitive. The three important ingredients to being intuitive are- calmness, positivity and receptiveness. Intuition is a feeling or a conscious thought that comes into the mind for a moment. If you believe and connect, you are intuitive. Pick up the messages you get and train yourself to understand. Value it rather than think about it. Logic interferes- it may not allow you to be intuitive.
Thus, each one of us can develop this system of internal messaging (intuition) emanating from a source that seems to know all. Call it accumulated wisdom of our soul over many births or as Dr. Deepak Chopra would define it as a ‘collective matrix of thought’ or the ‘psychosis of the collective mind’.
Reflection
- Reflect on the times you feel a prickly sensation at the back of your neck and turn around to see someone looking intently at you.
- Have you experienced times when you think of a long lost friend and she calls out of the blue or bumps into you somewhere?
If we are looking for a change in our life, it got to be lasting and consistent. For a smoker who wants to change his habit, just quitting for a day, a couple of days or even a few weeks, isn’t good enough. The change must be permanent. How does one do that?
1. Raise your standards- Write down all the things that you will no longer accept in your life. A habit, a life-style even a thought- all the things that you will no longer tolerate. Also pen down all that you have inspired of becoming.
2. Change your limiting beliefs- If standards are raised but you don’t really believe you can meet them, you’ve already sabotaged yourself. Our beliefs are like unquestioned commands, telling us what’s possible what we can do and how things are. Beliefs shape every action, every thought and every feeling that we experience. Thus changing our belief system is central to making a real and lasting change in our lives. It is vital to have a ‘sense of certainity’ that we can and will meet the new standards, before we actually do!
How to change a BELIEF?
All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs.
There are three types of beliefs:-
· Opinion- This is what we feel relatively certain about but are open to discussion.
· Belief- We have strong emotions attached to the opinion, which is supported by a large reference base. Here we have a strong level of certainity and are closed to new inputs.
· Conviction- Eclipses a belief where you not only have strong emotions but are closed to it being questioned.
Two simple steps that can begin the process of changing our belief:-
· Step I- Associate massive pain to the old beliefs and tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering one.
· Step II- Create a doubt. Question what we have believed in so far. Whenever we believe in something, we don’t question it. If questioning of a belief has started, the ice has begun to melt.
3. Change your strategy- Once you have set your standards and believe in them, it is very likely that you will find the way to achieve it.
Some guidelines to making strategies are:-
· Find a role model- Think of someone who has been able to achieve what you are aiming for. What and how has he been able to affect the change?
· Pain-pleasure syndrome- This means attach pain to what you want to change an a lot of pleasure to the new change.
In today’s world of rapid change and ever expanding opportunities, people are realizing that many of their dreams and goals which were once an impossibility are now an attainable reality and therefore are willing to take that step to achieve them. A coach has a large set of skills and techniques to support the client in this endeavour. Clients are taking out the time and resources to invest in themselves through the services of a coach, who facilitates this everlasting empowering change and supports the client in realizing his dreams and goals .
What are values? Why are they important? What are the consequences of ignoring or compromising them? How can I identify mine? Read on and find out!
What are values and why are they important?
A high proportion of the people are aware that something is wrong, that something could be better in their lives- that’s why they begin coaching – but they aren’t quite sure what is wrong, what’s missing. Most of the time it is because they are simply unclear about what is most important to them.
Infact, this could be the definition of values – that which is most important to us. It incorporates moral values, our ideas of what is right and wrong, our principles and standards. It also includes our individual values. For me it includes things such as making a difference, empowering others, creativity, communication, honesty, straightforwardness and I know that I feel best when I’m giving these values their full expression in my life. So that’s why an awareness of our values is important. Because when we are aware of them we can give them expression, and giving them expression is about expressing who we really are.
What are the consequences of ignoring or compromising values?
Well, what do you think? If giving space to our values and allowing their expression brings us energy, vitality, a sense of being fully alive – what do you think happens if you lack clarity about your values, if you ignore or compromise them? A lack of direction and purpose, feelings of discomfort, an awareness that something’s not quite right, dissatisfaction, discontent, a certain restlessness and need to know / to do something different although you don’t know what. This is a high price to pay, although in virtually any workplace you can see people paying that price every day as they do work that they hate, but not knowing what else to do. The good news however is that you can do something about this, and the best starting point is to get in touch with your own values.
How to get in touch with your own values?
There are many questions and exercises that you can use to get in touch with your values.
Some questions to get you started:
- What do you consider to be the greatest achievement of your life? Why?
- When have you taken the strongest stand in your life? What were you standing for?
- Who is your role model? What qualities of the person do you admire?
- Recall times when you’ve been at your most creative – whether creating things, an event, a product, whatever.
- Recall the times in your life that you’ve been most committed – when you were deeply involved in something, determined to persist despite everything.
- Recall times when you were most decisive – when you knew exactly what to do, when you knew you were right and you acted on that, even in the face of the doubts and objections of others.
- Remember a time when everyone said you couldn’t do something, but you knew you could and did it anyway. What was it? How did it feel doing it – during and after?
- Remember times when you were so absorbed in what you were doing that you hardly noticed the time. What were you doing?
- What do you feel is the greatest accomplishment of your life and why?
- What is the most exciting thing you’ve ever done? And why was it so exciting?
- What is the strongest stand you’ve ever taken in your life? What were you standing for and why?
Here is an interesting exercise-
Imagine your own funeral.
Although not to everybody’s taste, this is a very powerful exercise which offers the quickest route to get in touch with your core values. If it’s something you really don’t want to do, just move on to the “Other questions you can ask” further down the page. I’ve seen a number of versions of this particular exercise but have chosen to use Stephen Covey’s here, from his book “The seven habits of highly effective people“:
“Clear your mind of everything except what you will read and what I will invite you to do. Just focus with me and really open your mind.
In your mind’s eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlour or chapel, parking the car and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there.
As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the coffin, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honour you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life.
As you take a seat and wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate and also extended – children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from your church or some community organisation where you’ve been involved in service.
Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of wife, mother, daughter would you like their words to reflect? What kind of sister, cousin, niece, or aunt? What kind of friend? What kind of work colleague?
What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives?
All these questions point to points in your life where you’ve been expressing those things which are most important to you. Review your answers to these questions and look to see which of these qualities are being expressed in your life now, and which are not. For those which are not getting sufficient (if any) expression, ask yourself how your life would be different if you were expressing them. What could you do to bring them in and give them space? How would you feel differently if you did that? What would you do differently? The answers to these questions point towards the next steps in your life, should you choose to take them.
Mid-career crisis, like mid-life crisis doesn’t necessarily have definite triggers. After putting in more than 10-15 years of work in a particular job, one might feel emotionally weak and saturated as creativity begins to feel stifled doing the same work over and over again. Feeling switched off, losing sense of focus at work and feeling un-challenged are some common problems people face.
This happens when career goals aren’t aligned with life-goals and money is the prime motivator. Usually the bright guys face this. They get quick promotions but reach the threshold too soon and then start questioning themselves. At this stage, it gets tough to resolve the issues independently as the stakes are high due to the age, risk taking appetite is low, there could be loans to repay and finally the social framework might become deterrent a to change.
It is here that a life-coach comes in. Coaching helps the individual to realize the larger picture he is operating in. The coaching relationship helps the person gain clarity on his life’s goals, align these goals to his professional aspirations, balance personal and professional aspects of life.
It is in this environment that people can get the necessary impetus to upgrade their skills and feel less threatened with new entrants the organization.
Life-coaching in this scenario is gaining greater importance, as, a coach is not an advisor but your partner, confidante, friend, cheerleader and listening board. In today’s world where we aren’t sure of ‘good-advice’ and ‘true-friends’, we can easily rely on coaches, whose profession is to ensure that your life is fulfilled.
Famous quotes are usually simple in content, deep in meaning, and provided with a sparkling detail: they were created by people who challenged their circumstances and achieved high outcomes. Moreover, they provide an insight on different perspectives, peculiar paths, and varied goals that have emerged into success stories. If your goal is to be motivated, to achieve and inspire others – take advantage of what has been built on the way!
Lesson 1: First Step
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. ~ Lao Tzu – Chinese Philosopher
Lesson 2: Choose Wisely
“Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win”. ~ Jonathan Kozol – writer, educator and activist
Lesson 3: Be Active
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” ~ Thomas Alva Edison – Scientist and inventor
Lesson 4: Be Positive
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. It is not your aptitude, but your attitude, that determines your altitude.” ~ Zig Ziglar – Marketing Guru and presenter
Lesson 5: Be Flexible
“The Warrior of light carefully studies the position he intends to conquer. However difficult the objective, there is always a way of overcoming obstacles. He seeks out alternative paths, he sharpens his sword, and he tries to fill his heart with the necessary determination to face the challenge. But as he advances, the warrior realises that there are difficulties he had not reckoned with. If he waits for the ideal moment, he will never set off; it requires a touch of madness for the next step. The warrior uses that touch of madness. For – in both love and war – it is impossible to foresee everything.” ~ Paulo Coelho – Writer
Lesson 6: Learn in Defeat
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~ Denis Waitley – Motivational speaker
Lesson 7: Expand your Vision
“The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.” ~ Albert Einstein – Scientist
Lesson 8: Be Grateful
“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” ~ Margaret Cousins – Author
My conviction, trust and belief in The manifesting energy lead me to move from my ‘home’ in India to Vancouver- a spot in the universe where I had no family or known friends. I let go of my comfort zone to fly….to evolve…to live my true-self.
Through varied techniques, years of exposure to distinct outlooks of people and my personal experience of life, I am now partnering and empowering people to lead their best life, to dare to dream, to live their real self and enthusing maximum personal and professional achievement, leading to a journey of life fulfillment.
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